You Are Not Alone
Welcome to the First Episode in this series, Overcoming Your Fears. I hope this series helps you. Reach out if you have any questions. Comment on your thoughts on this post and how it helped you.
Fear creeps in the quiet moments before sleep when you shut your lights and suddenly feel like someone is in the room with you. Sometimes, while walking alone in the park on a sunny day, it suddenly feels like someone is tailing or watching you. It's the whisper in your mind that says you're not enough, the shadow that follows you, pointing and focusing only on what could go wrong. Fear can trap you in a place where worries and doubts live 24/7. But there's comfort in knowing that this experience is isolating but universal. You are not alone.
Understanding the Fear Trap
Fear trap is an emotional and mental state in which fear dominates, influencing your every decision, action, and perception of self-worth. It's like walking through a maze, where each turn brings more uncertainty and anxiety. And this feeling, as awful as it is, grows and grows with time. The trap is not selective; it gets everyone at some point, regardless of age, gender, profession, or background. It's part of the human race, a shared experience that, while personal in the way it impacts you, is universal in its reach.
I remember standing backstage, minutes from presenting to a room full of soldiers. A topic I had just researched days beforehand. I had to give an OE (Operational Environment) brief on Egypt. Focusing on her political, religious, social, physical, and infrastructural aspects. My heart raced, my palms sweated, and a single thought circled: "What if I mess up?" This fear of failure or not meeting expectations had rooted itself deep within. Yet, I wasn't alone when I shared this experience with other soldiers who also had to give a brief. Each had their own story. I almost fainted, I was shaking, I had never felt like this before, I was so scared I forgot my words, the pressure felt like my heart would burst, said other soldiers—all had a common underlining factor: fear.
Another time, I feared the loss of a loved one after I got a called they had fallen seriously sick. The mere possibility felt like a weight too heavy for me to carry. Speaking about it to my siblings and friends, I discovered they had similar burdens, fears of loss, fear of change, or fear of the unknown. These conversations didn't erase the fear I had. Still, they broke the loneliness, reminding me that others understood and shared these feelings.
You Are Not Alone
It is essential to recognize that our fears, while uniquely ours in detail and how they manifest, are part of a collective human experience. Knowing you're not alone in fear is the first step out of the trap. There's strength in shared experiences. There is empowerment, knowing you are not alone. We call it trauma bonding. Yes, we are all being traumatized by fear if you want to look at it that way. When we speak our fears, we often hear echoes of our anxieties in others, creating a network of support and understanding.
Exercise: Writing Down Your Fears
One practical step towards addressing the fear trap is to write down your fears. This exercise does more than merely transfer thoughts onto paper; it helps you visualize and externalize them, allowing you to see your concerns as separate from yourself. Yes, your fears do not make you who you are. Here's how you can start:
1. Find a Quiet Moment: Choose when you're less likely to be disturbed. This process requires honesty and introspection.
2. Write Unfiltered: List your fears as they come, without judging or rationalizing them. This list is for your eyes only.
3. Reflect and Categorize: After writing them down, take a moment to reflect. Which fears are immediate, which are hypothetical, and which are within your control?
4. Plan Actionable Steps: To address fears within your control, brainstorm small, actionable steps. It's about progress, not perfection. For some examples, read FEAR TRAP
This method won't eliminate fear—nor should it, as fear can be helpful sometimes—but it can release its grip over you. By externalizing your Fears, you're taking the first step in transforming them from hunting shadows into manageable challenges.
Conclusion
Remember, you're not navigating the journey alone. By acknowledging your fears, sharing them, and taking concrete steps to address them, you can move from feeling trapped to feeling empowered. Let's embrace our fears not as signs of weakness but as opportunities for growth and connection.
